Tricia introduced me to the world of horses. When I say “world” I mean the amount of it that I would allow my hands to get involved in. She was my best friend in high school, and she both irritated and mesmerized me because she just floated in and out of the real world at will. On her terms. At just 17, Tricia had already lived an extremely full life, and only now can I understand why she died so early, so suddenly. She established her legacy and had done the work she was supposed to here.
She was bold, passionate, courageous, vivacious, and unconcerned with worldly things. As long as she could perform and be with animals as much as she wanted, Tricia was happy. By the age of 17 she was both training AND showing world class Arabian Horses in competitions all over the state—and she had no problems taking home awards or ribbons either. She trained beautiful white laborador puppies to be guide dogs for the sick and disabled. She prepared them for their testing and certification…..aaaaaaand if one or two didn’t pass, that was okay with her and her mother Joanne, because they’d keep the ones who flunked.
My favorite part of going over to their house was being greeted by both their favorites., I can only remember the name of the big black one, Magic. But they loved me. And, I, adored those dogs to no end. One of the memories that always remains with me is watching both of her big dogs take turns diving into the pool during the summer time.
After persistent prodding, Tricia eventually got me on the back of “Bud,” a stubborn old man of a horse. But once I climbed atop his strong back and felt his energy, it seemed to match mine. I felt like we were both this moody pair….and all of a sudden horses weren’t so scary. Basquadar on the other hand, well, he was a different story. HE KNEW he was an award winning ARABIAN, and he only had eyes for his trainer and master, Tricia. I only rode Bud a few times, back then animals weren’t such an integral part of my life as they are now and I wish I had participated more before Tricia died. Though she was my best friend, we were on different “planes.”
There were things I couldn’t quite grasp about her, something deeper, something about her was older than me. And I could never quite get what it was. But, I was content just watching her do what she did with animals and what she did on stage. She was glitter when she performed. She sparkled. She was the same way with animals. I never could quite understand why she never cared what people thought about her…..now, I get it…..
I look back and remember Tricia each time I pass this huge ranch property off of 59th avenue and Thunderbird Road. I think they board race horses there. Each time I pass the property I feel this “pull” toward those horses. So much so, I park across the street and cross the road just to sit and watch them. Ill sit there as the sun rises on the way home from a night at Fuego, watch them run free first thing in the morning….and I will do the same at sunset too. I watch them preen eachother, nip at eachother when they get annoyed, stand up on their hind legs when they get startled by something they don’t like, tend to their babies, and do all sorts of other things horses do. Snort, stomp the ground, eat grass for hours on end…….
I have a good friend who is in the Army and when his PTSD gets to him he walks….and walks…..and walks…….I do the same thing. Only, my usual destination is to get to the place where the horses are, and the big lush green trees with lots of shade…and my favorite place to be with the horses from a distance.
The horses have gotten used to my presence now. So, this week being an exceptionally weird week, a week in which I had two very life altering things occur, I felt I wanted to get nearer to them. As I walked the few miles it took to get to the big ranch I stopped alongside the gate this time. Six of them were clustered together off in the distance but they immediately sensed me standing there with my fingers curled in the fencing, peering at them….wondering If just this once, theyd give me the chance I had been hoping for. To connect with just one. To pet just one.
On this day it appeared I was in luck. All six slowly made their way toward me, but stopped suddenly, looking at a caramel colored horse for what appeared to be guidance. It was the caramel colored one who came alone to visit with me first. I held my breath, anxious with anticipation and raw with emotion…..what was this guy going to think of me? Would he hate me? Would he stomp around and snort and show dismay? Would he report back to the others that I was “bad people?” My energy wasn’t exactly the best after all……but I took off my sunglasses for good measure so he could see my eyes.
I wasn’t prepared for how deeply he looked into me. It was as if this big beautiful animal knew everything about me already. He sniffed my head, then the hand I stretched out to him….Suddenly, without warning, he put his face next to mine and held it there for what seemed like at least ten minutes. He didn’t move….I didn’t move. We were both in one space, inside this one moment in time.
My hand rested on one side of his face as he held his position next to me. I felt his warm energy, his light, his calm, his peace. It was like feeling his vibrations seep into my own spirit. And the tears…they spilled instantly…. they were hot, and they came so fast, but they felt good. I felt a spiritual release. This “its going to be fine really” kind of vibe coming from him and it was one of the most memorable moments Ive ever had with an animal. He felt my spirit….and I felt his. We were strangers to eachother but to him I was no stranger. He just “knew.”
With a sudden jump he turned and galloped back to the rest of his companions and they appeared to commiserate for a little bit, each one of them looking up at me..their heads together. My curiosity piqued, I stayed in my position so as not to startle them. After a moment or two, all six of them came sauntering over. Each one stood before me, so incredibly big and shiny in the sun, so magnificently sweet and honest. They all took a turn dipping their head next to my cheek and I caressed each one with my hand telling them “thank you” as they looked into my eyes. Three ran back to a patch of grass after coming to meet with me. Three remained. Each one taking turn after turn getting affection from me, until, the caramel colored one nipped at the other two, causing them to run away reluctantly.
He bent his head down once more so I could reach him, and this time I put my arms around his neck and gave him a hug and told him thank you for giving me a chance……that I needed this so much. He looked up and put his forehead to mine for a moment and at that second it was as if there were no cars racing by the side of the road, in fact there was no city noise at all. It was just me and this horse and his spirit, both our heads touching eachother…..This horse that did more for me in just a small amount of time than he will ever know…
Or maybe… he did.